So my husband, Eli, and I cleaned up our garden and put it to bed for winter last week. I love everything about this process. I love the smell of the fall earth, the chill in the air, the exhaustion in my body after a day in the garden. I can’t help but reflect on what we’ve accomplished and learned that season, both about the garden and ourselves.
There is something about tending to a space, cleaning up the things that don’t serve you anymore, recognizing the fruits of your labor and being joyous about the bounty AND being at peace with letting it go. I couldn’t help but think how little we do this in our own lives, tending to and removing the things that no longer serve us out of celebration, out of gratitude, out of joy.
Mostly the removal of things in our lives are done with heartbreak, betrayal, sorrow and hurt. With a little mending of the heart, we can often see that these things that left us in a whirlwind of hurt weren’t really serving us and needed to go. What if we could tend to our garden and let these things go with joy?
These “things”, they may be people, places, jobs, commitments, beliefs. What if we were able to thank these things for their lessons, for their season in our life and then lovingly pull them out of our garden so that we can plan and plant for more abundance?
They’re perfect in the right season, just like the right person, commitment or place is perfect in the right season.
As the season changes we change. We wouldn’t expect tomatoes all year long, why do we expect that other events in our life should last season after season. Now there are some things that do last many seasons, but what about the things that don’t? In the season we’re able to celebrate the ripeness and the juiciness of a tomato. We know that a fresh home grown tomato tastes so different than one bought in the grocery store in December. They’re perfect in the right season, just like the right person, commitment or place is perfect in the right season.
As we come into fall I ask what do you want to create abundance around? What is your soul calling you to do? What kind of things do you need to pull out of your garden bed that no longer serve you? What are your hanging onto, forcing or fertilizing so to speak, to gain artificial abundance? What friends, commitments, habits need to be pulled from your garden with gratitude and joy to avoid that whirlwind of heartbreak?
There is a very literal process of asking “What do I want to make space for?”
In fall, the garden goes dormant, it gets quiet. It doesn’t mean that nothing is happening. Fall and winter is time to plan for the abundance you desire. There is a very literal process of asking “What do I want to make space for?”
Where is your life calling you to go dormant to build your energy for the abundance that comes in spring and summer? Are you putting a fertilizer on your garden expecting it to produce like its summer all the time? Is that fertilizer really nourishing you or just creating a false sense of security? What would happen if you stopped using that fertilizer, stopped forcing things that just aren’t working anymore, stop feeding that artificial dream, desire, commitment or motivation?
Going and going and going without listening, is what leaves us feeling so disconnected, lonely and longing for something more.
Going and going and going without listening, is what leaves us feeling so disconnected, lonely and longing for something more. What would happen if you just stopped, got quiet and listened to the beauty of the changing seasons within you? What changes could you make if you listened to what your body and your mind was asking for? What if you just stopped? What if you buried yourself deep like a seed waiting to sprout strong in the spring? What could you learn from that time? What could you gain from being quiet? What could you produce? What abundance could you call into your life?
Seven steps for Calling Abundance into your life:
These are tool that I use with every client that wants to become a master of their inner domain. These tools are the first steps in finding your abundance. The great news is they can be customized to your lifestyle. You know what works for you, so although each step is important, I encourage you to do them in a way that works for you.
This is the most important step. We have to get quite. Getting quite means no phone, no computer, no kids, no partner, no multi-tasking. Getting quite does not mean that you have to have a sanctuary with gong music playing while you repeat mantras for hours. It can be going for a walk, enjoying a cup of tea, taking a long hot shower, journaling or it may mean sitting in your sanctuary with gong music while you repeat mantras for hours. Whatever works.
Okay, now that we’re quiet, it’s time to listen. Listen to your body, to your soul. In general, this is time to listen to everything BUT your mind. Our mind comes up with many distractions, fears, judgements, excuses…..you know what I mean. Start listening to your body. Maybe it’s a tightness in your chest, the feeling of not breathing deeply, a general tiredness that has been asking for attention. Maybe your soul has been yearning to step out of your comfort zone and do something that would bring immense amounts of joy to your life. These are important things to listen to. When we listen we can connect to ourselves and start to quiet the loneliness, the disappointment and the boredom.
When we listen we can connect to ourselves and start to quiet the loneliness, the disappointment and the boredom.
No expectation, no judgment
Now that you have gotten quiet and your listening. Be kind to yourself, avoid expectation and judgement as much as possible. Expectation would be “Well, if I want this, then this is exactly how I will get it. This is the time frame I will get it in. And this is how people are going to respond to it.” Judgement is “Well if I want this, it will be too hard because, I’m not strong enough, smart enough, loved enough (fill in the blank).” Judgement can also look like “I don’t deserve that”, “I shouldn’t want that”, etc. You get the picture, we all have that voice of limitation. Explore what your hearing and learning about your inner domain with love, attention and kindness.
Make time daily
It doesn’t have to be a lot of time, I usually suggest at least 10 minutes. You’d be surprised how much you can learn about yourself in 10 minutes a day. I’ve done this process sitting in my car waiting to go in for a meeting. Creating time daily is what creates the habit, but also what allows you to continue the most important conversation you can have every day. This process will guide you to change habits, follow your dreams, take some big steps. Checking in with yourself every day is important to make sure you’re honoring yourself, not someone else.
Ask yourself these three questions:
- How am I feeling?
- Do I want to continue to feel this way? (If yes, GREAT! Keep up the good work. If no, go to step #3)
- What can I do to change the way that I feel?
I’m just asking you to explore options of what you could do. You don’t have to do anything right now. Sometimes just asking this question, brings up possibilities you didn’t even know you had.
Recognizing that “bad” feelings are just as important as the “good” ones. Feeling anger, grief, loneliness are just as important as joy, playfulness, love and connection. So it’s not just “This feeling is “bad” so I don’t want to feel it” It’s important to explore those feelings for the underlying message they bring.
The important part is that you are taking responsibility for how you feel and how you respond to the way you feel.
Honoring yourself means being kind, not having judgements about what you want or need. But it also means knowing when you just need to sit in a feeling/emotion/sensation and knowing when you need to take action. Both the sitting with and the action are a message to yourself that you are paying attention and listening.
For example, it may come up that you want to leave your job. I am not saying that you should honor that and go and quit your job tomorrow. But maybe knowing this gives you the courage to start looking for another job. You could decide to focus on the things you love about your job while you’re there. You can make an effort to make sure your time outside of work is rich and fulfilling. There is always something you can do to make your situation better.
When we listen and don’t honor our needs it only highlights the disconnection, the loneliness and the longing for something more. It’s like a child that makes their true, authentic needs known and the adults around them don’t respond. It’s heartbreaking. Honoring your deepest desires is what makes life rich, juicy, fulfilling and full of purpose.
Thank yourself. This isn’t always easy work, but when you are willing to show up for yourself every day, the rewards are tremendous.
Try this process for 30 days and see how your life changes.
I encourage you to ask questions and comment on your process below.
If you want to dip your toe in the water a massage with one of our therapists is the next step. They will help you discover your unique body language and how to start understanding what your body is asking for.
If you are ready to dive deep and do this work in person click schedule a Reiki session to get to the heart of what your body is asking for.
You can do either by clicking here and going to our scheduling page. **Look for the Discover Massage logo in the upper left hand corner.
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